RIP Fender :'-( (1997-2011)

My Mom & Dad called me today to let me know our family dog (Fender) died.
He was a Royal Standard Poodle and the best dog ever!

Its weird how our pets growing up become a part of the family. I will forever love Fender. He was my snuggle buddy and always there for me in rough times.

At one point he was my best friend, A few years ago when I didn't know where to turn or who to trust he was the best to talk to. A-Probably because he couldn't repeat anything but most of all he was loyal.

  I will never forget the time when I was 14 years old and my family and I were going up to our ski house in Vermont, My dad pulled up in front of this restaurant "Silo" to pick up dinner. It was an escalade so it had 2 rows in the back. I was in the way back and Fender was in the second row. As I perched my head forward to tell my Dad I want potato skins, Fender's tail goes stiff and all the way up (picture a poodle tail with the pom pom on the end) and next thing I know I hear...... "Puuuuuuuuuh" and feel a warm heat come over my face............ Yes Fender farted in my face. I look up and see in slow motion my dad hysterically laughing and my brother laughing.
LOL it is funny looking back but at the time I was so angry.
There may be many dogs out there but none like Fender. None that have had the chance to fart in my face.

I'm sure he's in doggy heaven right now and pimping it with all the hot girl poodles or hot boy poodles (he did like pink and to dress up). I mean How many dogs can say they were on E! & numerous sites for his "Hugs not Drugs" shirt. He'll be in the popular group in doggy Heaven for sure.

RIP FENDER

Young Girl-Wants Advice on "insecurities due to being bullied"

Hi Hailey,


I wanted to know if you have ever been bullied growing up? The popular group at school always sit together at lunch and get together and I am the one in the corner reading a book and eating alone. I'm the girl in honors and just I get called dork, ugly, and a nothing everyday. I don't know what to do? At times I end up feeling the way these girls say I am. 


I have admired/admire your strength and just how you stand up for yourself no matter what. You never give up no matter how bad this world trashed/trashes you.


 I will be honest, in the beginning when I read all the magazines I quickly judged but then again they are tabloids and I only read it due to waiting in line at the checkout counter with my Mom. You were a bit impossible to avoid at that time. 
I must admit I think you're so strong and I want to know, if you were ever bullied when you were younger, since we all know you were pretty much bullied by the world without anyone even knowing you. Which is weird.


Do you remember your biggest bully?
Or if you were the bullier? Who knows... That's why I want to know. I'm going through a rough time at school and you seem like a person who doesn't judge.. I want your "Raw and Real Advice".


 Hope you write back.
         Misty C






Hey Misty,


Ugh you picked a sore subject for me but I must respond because It feels horrible to be in that position and "If I Knew Then What I know Now"... lol. I know I sound like my Grandmother they are pretty wise some of them.
I want to help you and let you know you're not alone.
I remember from the start in elementary school girls weren't very nice to me either. I can give you particular examples for each and every year of being a child but it could go on forever. 


Don't think it's because you're a dork or ugly , and I'm sure you're not. It's just unhappy girls or insecure girls who happen to be pretty or semi pretty who want to make someone else feel bad.


Remember no matter what group you happen to fall into the bullying goes on . You can be in the "dork group", or "popular group". In fact the bullying is even more nasty in the "popular group". 
Growing up is hard Misty, I'm going to give it to you straight. Its not easy. I'm 24 and bullying still goes on. 
Misty please remember this, it will help you through the rest of school from elementary-high school and like my mom always said "little b*tches just turn into older b*tches". Everything Happens For A Reason, and Whatever Hurts You Only Makes You Strong. Its true. I promise you!


I was bullied so horribly my entire life. So when the media storm and bullying worldwide kept smacking me in the face it was almost as if I was more prepared for it. If that makes any sense to you. 


The point is everyone gets bullied sometime in their life. I don't care who you are or what you look like but at some point everyone has been bullied by SOMEONE.  Why do you think this world is so F'd up. Excuse my language I know you're young but come on I remember that age people cus a bit... lol


The hurt will turn into strength as you grow up and age. Though I never promised you wouldn't need therapy, but it is 2011 everyone is going to therapy. Its the cool thing to do so don't worry about.


Always stay true to yourself. 


Misty don't listen to those people bullying you and trust me being a taddle-tale is not the answer. What may feel hurtful now and unbearable, as you look back its nothing in the grand scheme of life. You'll just always remember these mean girls. I could go on and on but I think this song sums up everything for you. 


Best,
Hailey Glassman------- 


p.s Remember we have all been there. I'm 24 and still going through it. lol I KNOW!

"Is My Boyfriend Cheating"?

"Dear Hailey,

I think My boyfriend is cheating on me but every time I confront him about it he tells me "baby your the only one I love and am with". I don't know what to say or do. He looks at me with his big brown eyes and tells me how much he loves me but he strolls in at like 4a.m. and tells me he was out with "the boys".

What do you think I should do? I know you have been through a lot, obviously very different but how do you catch your man if you expect him cheating?

-Mary W

Hey Mary,

I have no words because I don't want to hurt you or give you a reality check. Someone you love cheating on you, sucks. The feeling of betrayal is very painful.    :-(     ..          I'm sorry. 

Enjoy my song advice

Next time your man comes home at like 4 a.m. and you expect he is cheating; You throw his pillow on the floor and simply state firmly to him"that's where the dogs sleep"




p.s.- Don't forget to smell it. Don't let him go straight into the shower when he gets home.
"Let me smell yo dick" ---lol

"Take Me As I Am"

"Say No To the Hot Nanny Ho"

"Dear Hailey,


My husband and I just had our first child and we have been interviewing nannies. We both found one we liked but she is extremely beautiful. I don't want to look like a jealous, control freak and not hire her because she is gorgeous. 
I followed that whole saga with you and read you were cheated on by your ex with his children's nanny. 
I was wondering what your "first hand" advice/opinion would be?
She is fully qualified for the position and seems really sweet. Should I give it a try?"


-Liz B






Hey Liz,


I feel it depends on how pretty. In a nut shell NO, don't hire a hot nanny. Are you crazy! "Fully qualified", what does she have a degree from Harvard in Nannying? No Don't hire her. I'm sorry but just no. Why would you dangle eye candy everyday in front of your husband. 
I remember growing up I had nannies but not one time do I recall a hot nanny. Be like my Mom and only hire people who don't speak english and from out of the country. My mom was a genius she never hired anyone under 180 lb's....lol
Unless your intentions are not just nannying I don't see why you would have a hot nanny. Period the end. Get an illegal immigrant like everyone else does. The first question on your list to the nannies should be, "do you have a social security #"? If the answer is "no" then they are hired.
So the answer to this question is........ 
                          
               "SAY NO TO THE HOT NANNY HO"


Remember fantasy and lust can get the best of everyone.

"Boyfriend Shopping"

So I went boyfriend shopping. His name is Rabbit, when he gets on his high horse though he likes to be called "The Rabbit".......

"Das Beer Boot Music Video"

LOL its catchy. 

Am I going to go out and buy the "Beer Boot"..... No, but I will watch this video over and over again.